I'm typing this down on Dec 29th precisely at 10.46 am in the morning, on Tuesday. This is just some general notes for ending the year and beginning Our next journey of 2010. Before we take a peak on next year's journey, let us all take a recap of the ballistic year of 2009.
Starting the year of 2009, i was very reluctant to go to debate practice, and i noe by doing that i've hurt someone in between. it was a matter of my health, studies and MTQ to be exact (ive told this story many times to Iman). surpirsingly, Iman backed me up and said that i have my own life, and it was time to let me choose the way i want.
Things change when Iman got this offer to KISAS in March. by this time of the year i already passed the MTQ zone level, and was about to get through the district level. Again, the dilemma struck me when she had to leave. because that means someone here will be left alone from all the teammates he got last year. at first i thought it was for the best, that Iman is still here with him.. training the newbies together and somehow in the end it will be alright. But i was wrong. The day she left was the marking day of the beginning of this ballistic journey. I remembered how relieved he looked when i came for the debate training the day Iman left us for her better future. The same sentence rang by my ear each day, with the looks of a defeated person when he said "i lost my head (k.nafeesa), and now i lost my right arm (Iman)." (well it probably sounded funny when u read it rite now..LOL). but to have a funny imagination was a bliss at that time, for i imagined him as a person without a head and a right arm for REAL. and that very moment i told myself that even if i was like his small tips of his very end finger, i wouldnt want him to lose that. so to say, I stayed...
Now the journey begins, i met with Azizul, Arifuddin, k.Hafeeza, Amira, Raihan, Tasnim and Ulfah whom i hadnt really noticed back then. Each day i was given the long hours of lectures by him, and i had to tell myself to hang in there because the one thing i cant do is to focus on long hour lectures. it came to me that debate in real was tough. its not just talking, or showing off with your berserk language. its more than that. and at the same time i have this other hopes (MTQ) to fulfill. for all i could remember, it was a month of long and hard endurance that when i came home the only thing i could think of is sleep.
It was time, when we have to prove to ourselves that what we had learnt from him was worth fighting for: IIU debating championship 2009. The complication starts when i had to go to MTQ first, then right after had a fight with RMC as my first opponent of the year, then back again to MTQ to get it done (Alhamdulillah it ended with a victory), and soon finish the day of IIU before going to the hospitals to have my checkup not to mention the following week we would all have to sit for our mid-year exams. it all happened in a blink of an eye that when i opened my eyes again, everything went away...
before i knew it, i lost MTQ kebangsaan and my studies didnt go so well, Tasnim has her own problem and didnt come to the following debate practice, Amira and Raihan seemed like rivals rather than being sisters, k.Hafeeza having to focus on her spm, Azizul and Arifuddin with their inner self problem, and Fakhry seemingly having looks as though he just got out from a 360 degree over-heated oven. I couldnt help but think, just think, that the fight we had in IIU before wasnt worth fighting after all.
With all thats happening, A second chance came when a miscommunication brought my way to Musleh International Debating Championship. There, i was team up with a whole different team : Arif Hakimi, Laila and surprisingly a new Fakhry. Our goal was to try out new things, to experience, and to appreciate things ; anything else but winning. Even though in the end, we lost because of some silly and unrealisttic reason, the most important thing was we had Our moments. Because we were together, as a family, with those whom we care for.
The ending of the year for me was painful. After so much fun with the ones i care for, i was left with a puzzle. Will the F3's leave me one by one next year? Will i become a crazy frantic person having it all debate, hafazan, and spm in my head? What will happen to the family since we could see right now we are parting ways? so many questions aroused inside me that sometimes i got too tired thinking about it. that i dont think ill be able to handle it, because im just ME ; weak, selfless and hindered.....
A Peak of 2010:
Azizul, Arifuddin, Arif Hakimi, Amira, Raihan, Tasnim, Ulfah, and Laila : the Descendants of last year's journey. May Allah bless you no matter where you are.
Last year's debate was out of the order; it was nothing like the usual ones. because each and every one of u had make it different in each and every way u could.
But do u Really think u have seen it all Yet?
This year, the journey continues where you will delve into the Real meaning of Happiness, Pain, Victory, Independence, and what we would call The World.
Plan your own Maps carefully to start the journey to Your World next year, under the Guidance of Allah. I want to believe, and I Do believe.. that Sky is Not the Limit.
Everything will Change right From Here.
-Praise for the Soul, Credits for the Mind-
Nor Syazwani.
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