9th April 2009
How could it go so far?
Let’s recap. We were one of those teams that were victorious in debate. We were a team; we were improving, and most of all we were winning. We were beating every single team that got in our way and I improved dramatically after CFS Open’s. We tasted the finals! We were the first ever team from SMKA to go on stage bringing girls for the first time! Victory I saw was millimeters away.
And yet, all of that is now gone…………
I don’t believe it!
You got twenty people who wanted to enter debate and when you thought, you actually thought it was great until the unexpected happens. Iman was going to KISAS. For once I thought she wouldn’t be because she didn’t have the first intake, she even dumped me with 13 newbie that doesn’t even know how to debate, without even saying goodbye or some motivational words, no nothing! Then Wani said she had MTQ, on the 24 of April. That was during IIU league! Nafeesa was gone I could see that. She focused more to SRI Ayesha; she’s no longer helpful in this situation. No one is!!!! There all gone! I’m all alone. ALONE!!1
Azri Asyraf laughed at me. He thought it was a joke that if I even could manage to the breaks. I cried. I thought I wanted to quit. Leave forever; I don’t even know why I’m jeopardizing my SPM for something I don’t even know why I entered or something that I can’t benefit from. The teachers were furious. They asked why I haven’t been in class and got angry when I mentioned about debate.
The debate team was growing. There were 13 of us. I and Wani were the only debaters left, Raihan, Amira, Syazwani Jr., Ariffuddin, Tasnim, Ulfah, Laila, Nisa, Arif Ikmal and Tolin. All of them had to be thought from scratch. But then what?! There was no one to help, no dream, no hope.
Then Wani said to me: “Your not alone in this, were here, were a family.”
For someone with a life like mine, that was ridiculously cruel. Those words can change a lot of things. But for now Insyaallah, winning does not seem impossible, hope might be fragile but there is still hope.
I remember the time when I promised myself I would win this year. That I made a promise to myself: I will win………
24th April 2009
I woke up on the Friday morning. Base on my watch it was 5 o’clock. My dormitory was still asleep. But I wasn’t. Today’s a big day. It’s the day that shows whether or not Maahad could make history. It’s the day where the words victory means a lot. It’s the day where I will be leading my first ever team to the IIU league. I was ready, more than ready. I remembered the time when Nafeesa and I went to visit Iman at KISAS. I hated that moment. I really wanted to meet her, but our reunion was like it never existed at all. She only spoke to Nafeesa. And that made me more determined than ever to go to IIU and find her and show her how it feels to be tortured for five years in debate. Oh yes Iman, I’ll find you……
I sat by my bed. Remembering back the training I went through. Alhamdullillah, it was tough but thanks to my new twin Wanie, I was able to brainwash 13 newbie in just a month. Sight.
Hafeeza was great. Thankfully she could understand my language. She’ll be a great 1st speaker, hopefully able to match up against Iman and her KISAS team. Amira, Wanie took care of, she was great during the last debate. Raihan, I really hope she doesn’t go too emotional on this, but all in all she’s by far the best speaker among the form three’s. Tasnim on the other hand was sick. So I had to brainwash Arif in just two nights on how to become a third speaker. Then there was the case of Azizul. After much consideration I reluctantly had to make him a third speaker because Wanie won’t be here for some time so the only plan is to stall as long as I can.
It was enjoyable although it felt like a punishment. If this was the sacrifice for staying at Maahad Hamidiah and not going to KISAS, then so be it.
I got to my locker, there hanged my debaters T-shirt. It was the first time we made a T-shirt for the team. Dark blue, with the Voice of Islam logo, it was more than just a T-shirt, it was an identity.
It was 5.51 in the morning, the Subh azan could be heard from the school mosque. It was my voice after all. As the sun soars through the sky, I got this thrilling vision of me, Wanie, Azizul, and Hafeeza actually on the stage raising the trophy. Insyaallah, this is no mere dream, it is now reality.
I got to the usual daily assembly. Of course I wouldn’t want to be in it myself. It would be very embarrassing to be the only one wearing a T-shirt on a Friday morning. As I stood by the parking lot, teachers came and asked a dozen questions. I met teacher Pazilah and she came towards me, giving me cheers and motivational talks, saying that this year Maahad Hamidiah will win once I lead the team. My stomach growled in disagreement, I really hope there was more proof to it than just a lot of talk.
I saw Wanie in her peach prefect school uniform. As much as my emotions would object her going to MTQ, but still she has her own choice, I’ve got to use what I have, and what I have is me.
The others came in there dark blue debate T-shirt. Amira, Raihan, Ariffuddin, Azizul, Tasnim and Hafeeza. They’ll be representing Maahad and its there first time. We were even able to bring three observers: Laila, Ulfah and Syazwani Jr. All first- timers, all newbies.
We made our last goodbyes and good lucks to Wanie for her MTQ. And for the first time Maahad was going to use a bus to send us to IIU, Iman surely would love it. As I sat alone by the window, thoughts of me, Iman and Wanie debating in a team came rapidly. We never had a chance to debate as a team before, though.
What in the world will happen……..