This is just something to cheer everyone up. Hope you enjoy and get back that debating spirit of yours. (And I dont mean that you never had a spirit or else you'll be dead. LOL)
No exaggeration, No lies, just plain truth.
Caution : May induce constant forehead-slapping.
THW allow the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports.
Govt : “This debate is about whether or not we would allow athletes to take aspirin the night before a tournament to cure headache.” (headache only? fever?? period pain?? genital herpes?!)
THW ban zoos.
Govt : “We should ban zoos because humans think. Animals don’t!” (and…..?)
Govt : “We would only ban BAD zoos.” (What makes a zoo bad? The price? The smell? The cage? Too many monkeys?? WHAT….?)
THW include the 3rd-world countries in the fight against Global Warming.
Opp : “We want to preserve Global Warming!” (We do??”)
THW allow the use of torture on terrorists.
Opp: “Why would you want to torture terrorists? Do you want them to go crazy?”
Govt : “How can you say that all the crazy people are terrorists? Have you SEEN any crazy terrorists?” (This is exactly the point where ADJUDICATORS go crazy.)
Opp : “We would not torture terrorists, but we would put them in counselling and advise them. Also, we would show them the pictures of their families, and ask if they really love them….” (Hmmm…Terrorist Anonymous….very original, indeed!)
Govt : “We would use the truth serum on terrorists. What exactly is the truth serum? It is a substance that will make the terrorists subconsciously confess.” (Oh, we usually call it booze.)
THW abolish all race-based affirmative action in Malaysia.
Opp : “There is very limited rights to be given out. If we give the rights to the Indians, what about the Malays?” (Basic economic principle, guys)
Opp : “When your parents fall in love, they get married and go on a honeymoon. There, they will have sex. In the process, the sperms will race to get the ovum. But only one sperm will succeed, which is the strongest sperm. So it deserves the ovum.”
(Translation : Only certain groups of society are entitled to affirmative action… Thanks for the details, though!)
Opp : “The Chinese and the Tamil must understand the priviliges that the Malays enjoy.” (uhh…Tamil is a LANGUAGE, Aerie…Opps, no names, my bad!)
…Randomest TM Statements…
Govt : “The Government of Malaysia is stupid.”
Opp : “How can you say the Government is stupid? You ARE the Government!!” (Yeah, like DUH!)
Govt : “Nothing in the world is free. You even have to pay 20 cents to pee..” (The most logical analogy…and hey, it rhymes too..)
Qayser : POI!
Opp : Sit down, sir. I know you’re good looking.
Aerie : POI!
Opp : You too, sir. I know you’re good looking, too.
Fareez Shah : POI!
Opp : Please sit down.
Fareez Shah : Mr speaker, let me state how disappointed i am that the opposition failed to recognize the other good looking man in this room.
Opp : “We as the opposition today will ACTUALLY oppose the motion.” (REALLY…??)
Opp : POI!
Govt : Sit down.
Opp : Shame!
Govt : Shame on you too cuz you are like a child who’s mumbling through his POI! (oooh…personal)
National Novice Debating Championships 2009
Parent-child
`We would allow abortion for babies who are conjoined.’
P.O.I: For which trimester?
`What?’
P.O.I : Is there a time limit for when the mom is
allowed to abort?
`Of course. Two years!’
(Well I guess as long as it doesn’t eat solid food, it’s still a fetus??)
`If a dwarf mom has a baby, we will kill it.’
(Dwarf?? Kill?? Wow…political correctness is indeed a skill.)
`How can you say you want to abort deformed fetuses? Look
at Karpal Singh! He’s deformed and he’s in Parliament!’
(Ugh, firstly he’s handicapped not deformed. And secondly,
it’s a bit too late to abort him now, innit?)
`Deformed babies will cause bleeding to their mothers’ womb.
It’s true…’
`We want to include parents inside the children.’
(Eww.)
Environment
`The govt says they want to use cow dung as fertilizer. But
how are we going to do it? Who’s going to pick up the cow
dung? No one even wants to touch it!’
(Wow… talk about feasibility! )
Entertainment
`Chris Brown is not a violent man. You can tell from his
songs like when he says : With you i dont need money, i dont
need car, Girl you’re my all! See?’
(The logic of the MTV generation.)
`It’s normal for couples to fight like Katy Perry says, we
fight we break up,we kiss we make up.’
(Yes Katy Perry is indeed the love guru.)
It (reality tv) is real enough to make us cry when they cry, laugh when they laugh, heartbroken when they’re heartbroken.
Guys it’s real”
`In Joe Millionaire, the couple had a perfect date and kissed under the full moon. How can that NOT be fake?’
(Someone’s a cynic!)
`Britney is not even talented. She can’t sing and dance at the same time!’
And the rest (including some classic ones from the previous tourney.)
`We believe that the end meets the meet!’
`Why make the UN do it? Why not PBB?’
Govt : The Sultans don’t need our money! They are rich by birth!
Opp : Where do they get this money? From a treasure hunt?
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