The Ballistic Year of 2009 : Its Going to End

I'm typing this down on Dec 29th precisely at 10.46 am in the morning, on Tuesday. This is just some general notes for ending the year and beginning Our next journey of 2010. Before we take a peak on next year's journey, let us all take a recap of the ballistic year of 2009.

Starting the year of 2009, i was very reluctant to go to debate practice, and i noe by doing that i've hurt someone in between. it was a matter of my health, studies and MTQ to be exact (ive told this story many times to Iman). surpirsingly, Iman backed me up and said that i have my own life, and it was time to let me choose the way i want.

Things change when Iman got this offer to KISAS in March. by this time of the year i already passed the MTQ zone level, and was about to get through the district level. Again, the dilemma struck me when she had to leave. because that means someone here will be left alone from all the teammates he got last year. at first i thought it was for the best, that Iman is still here with him.. training the newbies together and somehow in the end it will be alright. But i was wrong. The day she left was the marking day of the beginning of this ballistic journey. I remembered how relieved he looked when i came for the debate training the day Iman left us for her better future. The same sentence rang by my ear each day, with the looks of a defeated person when he said "i lost my head (k.nafeesa), and now i lost my right arm (Iman)." (well it probably sounded funny when u read it rite now..LOL). but to have a funny imagination was a bliss at that time, for i imagined him as a person without a head and a right arm for REAL. and that very moment i told myself that even if i was like his small tips of his very end finger, i wouldnt want him to lose that. so to say, I stayed...

Now the journey begins, i met with Azizul, Arifuddin, k.Hafeeza, Amira, Raihan, Tasnim and Ulfah whom i hadnt really noticed back then. Each day i was given the long hours of lectures by him, and i had to tell myself to hang in there because the one thing i cant do is to focus on long hour lectures. it came to me that debate in real was tough. its not just talking, or showing off with your berserk language. its more than that. and at the same time i have this other hopes (MTQ) to fulfill. for all i could remember, it was a month of long and hard endurance that when i came home the only thing i could think of is sleep.

It was time, when we have to prove to ourselves that what we had learnt from him was worth fighting for: IIU debating championship 2009. The complication starts when i had to go to MTQ first, then right after had a fight with RMC as my first opponent of the year, then back again to MTQ to get it done (Alhamdulillah it ended with a victory), and soon finish the day of IIU before going to the hospitals to have my checkup not to mention the following week we would all have to sit for our mid-year exams. it all happened in a blink of an eye that when i opened my eyes again, everything went away...

before i knew it, i lost MTQ kebangsaan and my studies didnt go so well, Tasnim has her own problem and didnt come to the following debate practice, Amira and Raihan seemed like rivals rather than being sisters, k.Hafeeza having to focus on her spm, Azizul and Arifuddin with their inner self problem, and Fakhry seemingly having looks as though he just got out from a 360 degree over-heated oven. I couldnt help but think, just think, that the fight we had in IIU before wasnt worth fighting after all.

With all thats happening, A second chance came when a miscommunication brought my way to Musleh International Debating Championship. There, i was team up with a whole different team : Arif Hakimi, Laila and surprisingly a new Fakhry. Our goal was to try out new things, to experience, and to appreciate things ; anything else but winning. Even though in the end, we lost because of some silly and unrealisttic reason, the most important thing was we had Our moments. Because we were together, as a family, with those whom we care for.

The ending of the year for me was painful. After so much fun with the ones i care for, i was left with a puzzle. Will the F3's leave me one by one next year? Will i become a crazy frantic person having it all debate, hafazan, and spm in my head? What will happen to the family since we could see right now we are parting ways? so many questions aroused inside me that sometimes i got too tired thinking about it. that i dont think ill be able to handle it, because im just ME ; weak, selfless and hindered.....

A Peak of 2010:

Azizul, Arifuddin, Arif Hakimi, Amira, Raihan, Tasnim, Ulfah, and Laila : the Descendants of last year's journey. May Allah bless you no matter where you are.

Last year's debate was out of the order; it was nothing like the usual ones. because each and every one of u had make it different in each and every way u could.

But do u Really think u have seen it all Yet?

This year, the journey continues where you will delve into the Real meaning of Happiness, Pain, Victory, Independence, and what we would call The World.

Plan your own Maps carefully to start the journey to Your World next year, under the Guidance of Allah. I want to believe, and I Do believe.. that Sky is Not the Limit.

Everything will Change right From Here.

-Praise for the Soul, Credits for the Mind-

Nor Syazwani.

Debate Journey, Untold Story: The Reality Of Life

Editors Note to ALL:
This Story was not unveil but only to the most prominent members, what you are about to read is filled with dread, curse and unhappiness, but if understood you WILL understand the real principles of life, it has changed my perspective over debate, and more importantly my life.

15th March 2009

Two elite debaters were sent to The STAR Headquarters, to take a chance for the next International Asian Debate Championship held in the Philippines. Surprisingly both were able to try the following round to become the next Malaysian champion. But, the elder one, the sister, couldn't follow his younger brother to the next round. The younger brother, Abdullah Fakhry aka KhaleeD had to go alone.



29th April 2009
Venue: STAR HQ, Petaling Jaya.

Abdullah Fakhry was in a fanatic climax. In the main hall, Diak, him, Sarta (Indian), Michael Chu (chinese) and Safiya was brutally trained by there mentor and debate trainer, Adam. Adam was a debate veteran, in his 20's going to thirty, my closest friend and mentor around here, although very strict. He will constantly ask us why Iraq was attacked, why the UN was formed, what was the conspiracy 1998, what was the Geneva treaty? all questions that required our capability to think to the max. And among them all, only me and Diak were still in school, maybe the youngest in the team.

I remembered this days training. We were thought how to execute powerful ways to talk, charismatic ways that would enable us to have total control over the stage. We learn to utilize it. Some of us become great debaters over night.

But some of us didn't.

"Fakhry what was it this time?" Adam asked. Adam was a little bit piss off with my recent performance as a second speaker, he said it didn't suite me in terms of this team. So he trained me for a first speaker. He said i understood faster than the others and would be able to clarify everything on the first speech.
Come on Fakhry!!! 5 years you have trained for something like this. DON'T blow it up again, no not again. I could hear it in my head, the laugh of Azri Asyraf, the anger of Nafeesa, and the sound of crying, my crying. I will not give up I told myself, not this time, never!!!

Somehow i hated it, but i was determined. I remembered the time when I lost IIU, that I vowed to myself I would make it up here, or else where else, would after 5 years of debate would it be a waste? No I said to myself. I knew this was my second chance the moment I was summoned. This was my next big chance, and I'm not going to bust it. I trained as hard as I could to be qualified for the Asian debate in Philippines.

23 May 2009

For a month I have trained with Adam, and some improvement has shown. I've made a new friend, Diak, we were the only still schooling students. Often we'll discuss about how horrible school is, the food, the exams, the people and the school mostly. What we were different in school background, we had a similar goal: another chance to debate.

Today, Adam was going to announce who would be the main speaker. Everyone was hoping a place in the main speaker slot because it meant much to all of us, not because it will bring us the title of Best Speaker, but also the pleasure of the 10 preliminary rounds. I crossed my fingers, praying to Allah that I would be chosen, First or second speaker, it doesn't matter much now when it will determine who the main speaker is.

"The three main speaker are, as third speaker Michael", everyone gave a loud applause. He deserved it of course, just like Azri Asyraf, he was a killer tongue.

"Second speaker, Safiya", Another greater applause, Although shorter than me, she has the voice of Nafeesa. I even laughed when we first met, as if she never met a "budak agama".

"And first speaker, Fakhry", the whole room gave even a louder applause. Diak pat my back in congratulate, as the youngest of all of them, I was deeply lucky with it all.

At some moment the feeling of proud I couldn't grasp. I should be feeling excited, joyful, happy, but neither of those when they called my name. I felt EMPTY. What was wrong with me???

Adam was distributing the tickets for the Singapore training before the real thing, we'll go to Singapore first for a getaway before the real thing. The training for today was finished. Everyone was already packing there tickets and hurrying outside to smell back the fresh air.

Until finally the only ones left was me and Adam. The feeling of unease was still in me that i accidentally dropped my papers.

"ohh let me help that", Adam said giving a hand to help.

We picked it all up, until i stumbled upon my IIU Debate certificate. Adam saw it.

"You've been to that competition?" He asked.

"Yeah, last year I went to finals"

"And this year?"

I just keep quiet with that question. Thinking now what I should do but there was something missing, some kind of empty feeling.

"And what the other three of your teammates from Maahad? I'm sure they would grab this chance if given"

"Nafeesa was going to Jordan, Iman had left me, and Wani had some errands"

"It must be great debating with them, as a team, the feeling of teamwork and friendship and all"

Then finally the realization came to me. There was something missing.

"Adam, I have something to tell you"

"And what would that be?" He sounded more like a friend or father than the strict veteran, did he somehow sensed my discomfort.

"I think I'm going to pass this chance of going to the Philippines and Singapore and all. It's just not that I feel something's not right with me, not now"

"I understand", Adam said.

You do? I saw the half chinese half Malayan face staring to me. Did he really understood what I'm going through? I could see in his eyes, like as if he has gone through the same thing all over, what became a brutal training, became a passion, then into a skill, then into a curse of destiny. All because we didn't understood what we doing. we were pursuing an objective we wanted in our whole life, but when we grasp it, we felt empty and the feeling of disappointment. Because the thing we were searching was actually right in front of our eyes the whole time.

I handed my ticket to Singapore to Adam and we gave our last good byes.

"Whatever you do, make sure it is because of you, and nothing else, but for your happiness,
good luck finding it"

That was his last piece of advise before I step out. I was running, down the stairs. The feeling of relief and joy and anticipation. I never felt it before, I felt FREE. Free. Free from the training, free from the burden of 5 years of debate!

As I step out into the open air of Petaling Jaya, I smelled the fresh air and sank down on a chair outside. It was raining. I sulk down with the rain.

How could it go so far? The realization came all to real. I remembered the time when wani said to me that what was important wasn't the experience or the certificate, but it was the feeling of joy and happiness and at home. And I didn't saw that!

Wani. I'm sorry.

I realized that from last years IIU debate when I lost at the finals, I became a fanatic towards debate. I hurt myself for the crimes I committed. From CFS Opens, to the Intraschool, to the Interschool Debate championship, I hurt myself.

And now finally I'm able to let it all go.

Whether I realized it or not, the joy and happiness of debate was there, right in front of me. I closed my eyes, and I saw Raihan making a brilliant speech, Ariffudin winning his first debate, Amira becoming one of the best 1st speakers, Azizul doing all sorts of laughter, Hafeeza trying hard to not disappoint me, and Wani's determination to come to IIU even though it might jeopardize her MTQ. I laughed at myself. it was all there. All the joy and spirit, all there but I didn't saw it.

So now is the time to let it go. Let all the burden go, let all the anger go. Let it go.................

A white Rexton drove across the road in front of Fakhry. Fakhry walk towards it, in his mind is to teach this to his juniors. he now has to make sure that they won't be obsess like he did. In his mind, he was thinking how he could say sorry to Arif, Raihan, Amira, Azizul, Tasnim, Hafeeza and most of all to Wani.

There was only one place he's heading now. Home.

Syariah Revealed: Even Muslims are Afraid of it

These days, Muslims have begun to ask how to overcome problems associated with changes in life and say we have to re-interpret some verses in the Quran. This is due to wrong teaching and misunderstanding, and this can be corrected by re-educating the Muslims properly, not by following the West.

EVERY rightly guided Muslim holds that he is obliged to follow the law of Allah, namely the Syariah. It is the revealed law, the path shown by Allah through His messenger, Muhammad.

To the mind of an unbeliever, perhaps, it is rather strange that the Muslims today still want to maintain and follow the law that was revealed more than one thousand years ago.

The command to follow the law is evident in this Quranic verse: “We made for you a law, so follow it, and not the fancies of those who have no knowledge.”

The Quran, which was revealed to Muhammad, is something very important to every Muslim, not just personal to the Prophet. No Muslim has the authority to add anything to it, or to make alteration, or to omit anything from it. They have the duty and responsibility to preserve the Book for the guidance of all mankind till the end of the day.

They are also constantly reminded of what the Jews and the Christians had done to their holy books and warned not to do the same to the Quran — “Have you any hope that they will be true to you when a party of them used to listen to the Word of Allah, then used to change it, after they have understood it knowingly?” (2: 75).

Unless the person accepts the authority of the Quran he will never understand why the Muslims are like that. What a Muslim can do is to convince that person that the Quran is the word of God for all mankind.

In the beginning, the Meccan Arabs also refused to accept the teaching of Muhammad, preferring instead the way of life they inherited from their forefathers. Their attitude is condemned by the Quran: “And when it is said unto them: Follow that which Allah has revealed, they say: We follow that wherein we found our fathers. What! Even though their fathers were wholly unintelligent and had no guidance?” (2:170). This argument is still relevant now.

Professor Syed Muhammad Naquib al-Attas, founder and ex-director of the International Institute of Islamic Thought and Civilization (ISTAC), always reminds his students of the need to have a proper response and attitude towards the challenge of modernity.

Today, he said, among the Muslim intellectuals and leaders are those who are bringing the same problems as what the Christians are having. This is because there are a lot of changes happening, and the Muslims begin to ask how to overcome problems associated with those changes. That means, they say, we have to re-interpret some verses, otherwise the Muslims will refuse to accept the teaching of the Quran.

This is very dangerous and if we allow it to happen there will be no end to it.

When discussing the economic problems of the Muslims, for example, some Muslim scholars blame the Islamic law of inheritance, suggesting it to be changed to keep up with the time. But how are they going to change it when the Quran is very clear on it?

They, nevertheless, argued that in those days women did not work while today women work with some of them even getting higher income than their husbands, and because of that the provisions for inheritance should be made equal. This, they said, would help correct the economic imbalance among the Muslims.

We cannot simply accept the given reason without asking for proof that Islamic law of inheritance is the cause of Muslims’ economic problem. We are not going to accept it as if it is an undeniable fact, whereas it is just an unproven assumption.

Some others called upon the Muslims to look into the spirit of the verses about inheritance because now the situation has changed, and looking at the spirit of it now, they say, inheritance between male and female should be made equal.

That is not a correct argument, because regarding the verses of the Quran that are unambiguous one cannot say that one must look into the spirit of the matter. That is precisely the way Western people look at law, for their law is written by man and therefore they can always look into the spirit of the law.

Similarly, when confronted with the problem of women and gender equality, many Muslim thinkers do not realise that some of these problems are not actually relevant to the Muslims. Some of the problems about equality and demand for justice arose because of the early doctrines of Christianity on the position of women. The Muslims did not have such problems, but now they do have it, not due to something inherent in Islam, but due to the Muslims’ misunderstanding of their own religion.

Some of our modern ulama, according to al-Attas, are to be blamed for not teaching people properly, so sometimes there is injustice. They are often seen to be on the side of men in matters of law, for example in matters of divorce and polygamy, whereas women are not given clear understanding of their rights.

This is due to wrong teaching and misunderstanding, and this can be corrected by re-educating the Muslims properly, not by declaring equality and trying to follow the West. We can’t abolish any law that is clearly stated in the Quran.

This is, sadly, the state of affair of the Muslims, who have generally become ignorant and confused. As a result, false leaders thrive among them.

All these have to be changed, and in order to do that the Muslims have to look into themselves to find out what are they lacking, and whether they are thinking correctly. The real problem with the Muslims today is the corruption of knowledge which can be seen in the way we believe and the way we do things. At the same time our people are trying to follow the footsteps of the Western people including the way they observe religion.

We must be precise in our thinking, and be able to see how the logic goes. That is what we can learn from the science of kalam, which, unfortunately, people today do not care to learn any more. As a result they cannot think properly, nor can they argue or understand arguments.

-Taken From The Star 22/12/09-

Now this article is quite a read when you go through it, at first my thoughts go to like"what?" in utter confusion, then a "huh" in utter disbelief, then another "really?" in surprised, and finally a "ohh macam tu rupanya" in agreement.

Really you can't deny, that as much as you have to admitted it, there are still many Muslims whom are uneducated about the Islamic teachings, even more when it is about Syariah Court Law. Some Muslims even are afraid of it, who wouldn't when the law could decree that someone could be "stone to death" or "cut their hands off", what they don't understand in the first place is the reason why Islam chooses these methods and what effects it has towards the society as a whole. Really we shouldn't care how cruel the law is, who in the world ordered you to do the sin in the first place, if you're so afraid of it?

When a debate like this comes out, it is essential to understand that people don't actually understand what's going on. When you want to introduce something you firstly need to make sure the public understands what your doing, they need to be educated. In this type of motion about Syariah Court Law, the Muslims especially need to be educated about this movement.

"There is a problem in the solution", politicians used to say it. Everyone is afraid of a something they don't understand. If I would say that I was a cult that drank the blood during the seventh day of Ra. maybe you would be freak out. We, Muslims of all people need to be open minded on what Islam teaches us.

Understanding breeds empathy, and Empathy breeds tolerance, Tolerance breeds actions that would satisfy everyone.